Elvis Letter of Reprimand

To: Elvis, Beagle-Bassett

From:  Jef & Lesley, Humans

Date:  12/14/2017

Re: Written Reprimand for Destruction of Family Property

This is an official written reprimand for your failure to perform the required functions of your position by destroying your bed.

You have destroyed a total of 3 beds in the past 18 months and have smelled up several sofa cushions in that same time period. On two occasions, after using said sofa pillows, Lesley’s hair smelled like dog.

Since pillows and pet beds are not depreciable assets and in fact are not even budgeted items, this behavior is unacceptable. Pillows and pet beds are purchased to provide optimum service to all family members.

When you destroy your bed and/or sofa pillows, we are forced to make budget changes to acquire replacements.  This entails both an inconvenience for family members, and disrespect for our schedule, and the creation of overtime expenses.

You have received verbal counseling and verbal warnings with extended index finger for this behavior on several occasions. The verbal counseling is not having the impact that we had expected on your actions since your behavior is not improving.

Consequently, this written reprimand is reminding you of the critical importance of your use and care of your bed. Care and respect of household items is a core requirement of your job description.

Continued destructive behavior will result in further disciplinary action up to and including demotion from Senior Pet to Canine II.

A copy of this written reprimand will be placed in your official personnel file where you will also have the opportunity to offer a response that we can attach to this written reprimand.

Signature:

The Morning Train

Smell is a big thing on the train. There are a lot of them. Some of them are telltale. Cigarette smoke is common; the smell of a heavy smoker is easily detected from the seats behind and in front of the smoker. This morning’s smell was a heavy smoker smell with the addition of something not very common on the 6:30 am train; alcohol. It reeked. My task was to pinpoint it. It didn’t  take me long to trace it’s source to the young construction worker in front of me. He was fidgeting a lot, looking around a lot, he had clearly made the woman next to him uncomfortable. She leaned away from him.

I wonder what he does on the construction site. I hope it’s nothing dangerous. Then it occurred to me that there is not much that isn’t dangerous on a construction site. I wondered how long he could keep his job and continue drinking at 6:00 am. Will today be the day they cut him loose? Tomorrow?  As I watch him exit the train in his hard-hat and boots, I thought to myself, “It’s coming son. I hope you’re prepared.” I suspect he won’t be.