While sitting on my deck this weekend, I was intrigued by the relative ease with which I was able to spot cardinals among the trees. I must have spotted 3 of them in a matter of a minute or two. This has to pose some hazard to them, doesn’t it? I mean, if I can see them, then I know the hawks, falcons and other birds of prey can see them, not to mention cats and kids with b.b. guns. Was this hazard overlooked when they were bidding on uniforms? Were they so focused on style that they didn’t consider the threat it posed to their standing in the food chain?
Not that they’re the only ones to ever experience this irony of style. They remind me of the British Red Coats back in the eighteenth century. I don’t care how good you are with a musket, it’s not going to counter the risk of walking through the New England woods wearing a bright red target highlighted by long white socks. Come on, just where would that not stand out?
And young thugs today seem obsessed with letting their pants hang below their ass which might make it easy to go to the toilet but its got to make it difficult to run from the Po Po. Every episode of Starsky and Hutch I ever watched showed gangstas running down an alley and climbing over a fence. You can’t do that with an ineffective belt.
So here’s to you my fine-feathered friends, I pity your plight. You can fly but you can’t hide.