Vicki Stacker Is Easy

I was moving some boxes today and came across something that reminded me of a youthful incident I had almost forgotten about. Something that happened to me in high school, which looking back on now, makes me smile. No, not High School; the incident.

When I was a sophomore, there was a brief time when I dated the High School Slut. I know, at first that sounds bad on more than one level; first that I would refer to her as a slut (I just went back to the title and changed the name, just in case she googles) and second, that I would date her, especially as a high school sophomore.

What can I say; she picked me. She was a grade ahead of me but still, she began flirting with me and making obscene gestures during study hall and I was a walking hormone. Of course I was receptive. Soon we were officially “going together”. I don’t even know if that phrase is used anymore. God how old am I? Anyway, dating then meant mostly school functions; basketball games, pizza parties, homecoming, etc. 

The fact that she was one of the top 3 school sluts was actually elevating my status among my friends. Not just my friends, but even the jocks were starting to hang around me; juniors and seniors! It was like I had gained celebrity status. I only inflated it more by exaggerating the extent of our extracurricular activity.

Well, one day on the bus (that’s right, Mr. Wonderful still rode the bus) I’m sitting on my high horse acting like a man of the world in front of all the freshman when my younger sister walks back to where I’m sitting and asks me for something. I don’t remember what she asked, but I do remember looking down my nose at her and scoffing, “Yeah, in your dreams.”

“What makes you think I would do anything for you?”

“If you don’t, I’ll tell mom Vicki Stacker is easy.”

At that very moment I came to the sad realization that it wasn’t just my sister who knew what a charade I was playing, but everyone on that bus knew. I could see it in their eyes because they were ALL looking at me and they all had the same “What are you going to do now big boy?” smirks on their faces. It was a humbling experience and one that was badly needed.

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