A Little Giant Ladder, Drugs and a 1965 Mailman

I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep last night so I got up and turned on the boob tube. I can usually find something to put me to sleep. There’s nothing more fascinating than <em>discovering</em> the mating habits of octopuses or octopi or whatever. Anyway, I got hung up on an infomercial about the Little Giant Ladder. Not that the Little Giant Ladder is not worth blogging about, it is pretty cool. But what I feel the need to blog about are two things only related to the Little Giant Ladder infomercial.  Continue reading “A Little Giant Ladder, Drugs and a 1965 Mailman”

Grab That Cash With Both Hands And Make A Stash

Do you remember all the things growing up that you wouldn’t do, even for a million dollars? I remember telling my friend Tommy that I wouldn’t kiss Joline Stinski for a million dollars. Who knew someone with the name Stinski would turn out to be a major babe? I also told a friend (Bobby, I think) that I wouldn’t let him ride my Schwinn Orange Krate for a million dollars. I think he suspected I was lying.

Anyway, I can think of lots of stuff I said I wouldn’t do for a million dollars. But I just can’t fathom hating anyone so badly that I wouldn’t do a reunion tour for $250,000,000! Thank you Pink Floyd. There are only 4 of them for chrissake, that’s over….um, well it’s a butt load of money! I would do a reunion tour with my ex for that much! I would do a reunion tour with George W. Bush, Jimmy Swaggart, Barry Manilow and Dr. Phil for that much!

Can you imagine? Having so much money that 250 million just wouldn’t be worth it?

What Do It All Mean?

I had this dream last week that I remembered in detail and have told many people. I’m actually getting tired of repeating it, so I may as well just post it here and refer any friends here who may not have heard it. I realize this is a very vivid dream, but most of my dreams are. I have a theory as to why, but that’s probably for another post.

As I remember it, I was sitting in the living room of a quaint little house with my family, only my family was black and overweight. I kid you not, my Mama was HUGE and I had two or three brothers who all looked like Cedric The Entertainer. While we were waiting for the pizza man to come with our dinner, Mama looked at me and said, “You need to go get me some cigarettes”. I got the distinct feeling that she didn’t know my name. Then she looked at one of my brothers (let’s call him Cedric) and said, “Go get him some money out of my purse”. In telling this story, several friends have taken issue with the fact that whitey wasn’t allowed to go in the purse himself. Continue reading “What Do It All Mean?”