70 mile an hour dump

This is turning out to be pet rehab month at the ole Melman homestead. What with all the Boomer drama going on, I almost forgot about scheduling Midge to be fixed. Interesting word, fixed, but that’s another blog.

Anyway, the Vet called yesterday and told us not to feed her after 8:00 and no water after midnight. Well, as I mentioned before, Midge has this hankering’ for my tomatoes, so I had to close the gate that she used to go to the bathroom so she wouldn’t eat any. This morning she looked very confused when I let her out to do her thing and she couldn’t go through the gate. I was soon to learn just how confused she really was.

I put her in the Mini and headed to the Veterinary Hospital for her surgery. Of course, we didn’t call it that in front of her because she might find it upsetting. We used the word <em>procedure</em> instead. So, we’re tooling down the highway and Midge hops in the back. I keep the back seats folded down so she has room to frolic back there. Suddenly, this big SUV passed me with two kids and two adults in it and they were all looking down at me laughing their asses off. Before I could even start guessing what could be so funny I got hit with the sweet stench of dog poop and turned around to see Midge in that hunched up, bi-pod position right over a steaming pile of crap! Did I mention this was the Mini Cooper? My pride and joy?

I don’t know which was worse, the thought of a shit stain in my beloved car or the concentrated smell that could only be experienced by being encapsulated with it in something as small as a Mini. Anyway, I yelled at her and then drove two more minutes to the Vet where she ironically had abdominal surgery! Bet she won’t be poopin’ in MY car anymore.

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