Dog Walkin’est Neighborhood

In all the places I’ve lived over the years, I’ve NEVER seen more people walking their dogs than I’ve seen in my current sub-division. It’s weird and it’s getting on my nerves. It’s not only the number of dog-walkers, but it’s also the kind of dogs being walked. Does a Yorkshire Terrier really need to be walked down the street on a leash? Throw that thing out on the deck and let him run himself silly. There are also a few walkers who have two or three dogs; big dogs. I thought I’d only see in New York.

I have nothing against dogs, in fact I love like dogs. And I have nothing against walking your dog in the neighborhood. Just quit making me feel like a criminal for driving down the same road you’re walking your dog on. It’s my road too. They snatch their dogs off the road and look at me like I’m a fleeing cop killer. I know what the speed limit is but my neighborhood is loaded with twisting turns and curvy streets; even at the speed limit those turns make it look like you’re going faster than you are. Besides that, I drive a Mini Cooper. What’s the point of having it if you can’t race through the neighborhood?

Get the hell out of my way, I gotta get to work! I can’t help it if your dog team is out of control and your legs are tangled up in leashes. You should have thought of that every time you bought another dog. Learn to say no lady! And get the hell out of my way. I used to immediately hit the brakes and go as slow and wide as I could whenever I came up on a dog walker. But it was taking forever to get out of the neighborhood with all these people and dogs. And they’d still give me that look like I shouldn’t be driving on the street. Not any more. No more slowing down. No more giving a wide berth. No more leaving my headlights on. No more refraining from psychotic laughter as they dive onto the nearest lawn. Get the hell out of my way!

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