Month: December 2004

Yesterday afternoon, I had to stop what I was doing to watch this guy from maintenance change some of the fluorenscent lights in the office. Most of the time they use a ladder, but this guy found a much better way to change them. I doubt I was the only one watching him shimmy across cubicle walls like a steel worker on a high-rise. I could hear shelves rattling and pictures falling yet nobody said anything. I think we were all dumbfounded. Who knew a fluorenscent light tube could be used as a balance pole.

I was still thinking about it on the way home and decided to post a little photo collage of my favorite Safety First photos. I only wish I had my camera yesterday. Continue reading “Safety FIrst”

Here’s a list of things I did not do this weekend.

I did not ride my horse. I groomed and fed him, but since he freaked out and fell on his keester last week, I have not ridden him.

I did not wash the car OR the truck (the truck is no longer even recognizable).

I did not blow leaves, again.

I did not fix the Hot Tub. I thought I did. But I didn’t.

I did not finish Christmas shopping, in fact, I did NO Christmas shopping.

I did not pick up my meds at the pharmacy (as opposed to the street corner).

I did not make requested web site changes for GSW.

I did not sweep/vacuum the floors.

I did not get any further along in the boring book I’ve been reading forever.

I did not win the lottery, again.

I did not go flying.

I did not reinstall the FTP software on the laptop.

I did not find my Congressional Medal of Honor although now that I think about it, I may not have had one in the first place.

I did not have enough intestinal fortitude to watch the Packers past halftime.

I did not fart while getting a soda from the fridge even though I was accused of it.

And finally, I did not spend near enough time lying on the couch thinking about all the stuff that needed to be done.

I am beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as a Special Cub Scout Pack. By Special, I mean like short bus special. I’m not talking about the kids either, although there are a few interesting fellas; that’s to be expected, they’re just kids. But the Pack parents have got to be the strangest group of folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of socializing with. Most (over 50%) are high pants wearers. Not just the flood pants type, although that’s inherent, but the buckle your belt above the navel type. I swear, I think someone went out and looked for these people and invited them to be a part of this Pack.

Continue reading “SpeCS”

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four-star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again.
I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing views, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, corporate politics, gossip, and illness.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. Well, at least for today.

In my routine although fading quest to find my pilot logbook, I came across a beautiful hardcover edition of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that I bought for my youngest daughter a couple years ago. I bought it because I wanted to share with her the same excitement and sense of adventure I remembered experiencing as a child when my mom read them to me. Apparently, my mom was reading from a different Grimm’s Fairy Tales book, certainly not this one. This was the most violent, crude, even anti-Semitic book I’ve ever read; well, out loud anyway.  Continue reading “Grimm’s Fairy Tales”

I had lunch with a friend yesterday at my favorite Chinese place. When we were done, I read my fortune cookie; something about being a trusting soul or something. My friend read his to me; “Nothing bad will happen to your home”.

Wow, now that’s taking a chance don’t you think? I mean you could sue the Chinese Fortune Cookie place pretty easily over a statement that broad. Shouldn’t they have said “house” instead of “home”? Home implies something beyond the physical, like family and friends. And to just say nothing bad will happen to it……EVER? Come on, that’s kind of ballsy to not even put some kind of time frame on there.

If I’m the owner of the Fortune Cookie company, I’m gonna be much more specific in my statements to the public. I wouldn’t need a lawyer to tell me a more efficient fortune should read, “Your current house will be free from termites and water damage for the next eight weeks.” </span>

Okay, there was this kid I knew that sometimes did weird, unexplainable things. I don’t want to pass judgment on him because as it turns out, he grew up to be a very wise person. Anyway, here’s one of the things this kid did. Continue reading “The Vicky Boelter Incident”