100 Things About Me

1. I love baseball with a passion.
2. I never played Little League.
3. I have moved 28 times in the last 25 years.
4. I’ve been working for the same company for 24 years.
5. I’ve been playing the guitar for 25 years.
6. I’ve only been good at it for the past 5 years.
7. I can’t sing very well.
8. I’ve been told I laugh like Precious Pup.
9. “Precious Pup” was not very masculine.
10. Being around airplanes has made me happy for as long as I can remember.
11. I joined the Air Force to be around airplanes.
12. I got my pilot’s license when I was 40.
13. I am loyal and trusting to a fault.
14. I’ve been married more than twice.
15. I’m not allowed to use the “m” word without going in front of a review board of friends and family.
16. I love cinnamon candies. I may actually be addicted to Hot Tamales.
17. I stole a $5.00 bill from Jeanette Wilson’s desk in the sixth grade.
18. I am fascinated by politicans and love to read their biographies.
19. I am not a very social person.
20. I love being center stage.
21. I have an almost uncontrollable urge to knock down the Quizno’s Cup guy anytime I see him.
22. Picturing Billy Dee Williams saying “Brian Piccolo has cancer” makes me cry.
23. I am overly sensitive.
24. When I was four, I urinated on my best friend Todd.
25. I don’t like it when other kids won’t share their toys.
26. I’ve pee’d in 2 oceans, 3 seas, 2 Great Lakes, 2 Gulfs, 1 Channel and numerous lakes, rivers, sounds and bays. (I didn’t name them so you wouldn’t be afraid to swim there.)
27. I quit smoking after 15 years. It is my greatest accomplishment.
28, I first watched the World Trade Center towers burn on the breakroom television at work.
29. My favorite color is Green. I don’t know why. At some point I probably had to pick one and I am loyal to a fault.
30. I once considered making orange my favorite color but the guilt was overwhelming.
31. When I was a teenager, I spent one summer challenging myself to climb to the top rung of a grain silo and hang upside down.
32. It was the first real risk I took.
33. I’ve never had anyone close to me die.
34. The fastest I’ve ever driven was 158 mph in Jerry Snyder’s Corvette.
44. I’ll take pie over cake any day.
45. The first woman who ever aroused me was Mortica Addams. (I resented Gomez)
46. My favorite sound in the world is the sound of a tire rolling over freshly fallen snow.
47. I have had two recurring dreams over my lifetime. One is of me suddenly being able to play the piano. The second involves an airliner falling slowly, upside down into my backyard.
48. I think Freud was a dickhead.
49. If I could pick someone else’s life to live, it would be Timothy Leary’s.
50. I graduated High School without ever taking algebra. I thought I beat the system.
51. When I was 25, I had to learn algebra in order to be a better Underwriter.
52. I have Attention Deficit Disorder.
53. I used to refuel military jets at 25,000 feet.
54. My favorite TV show was Northern Exposure.
55. The first girl I ever kissed was Carla Hammel in the fourth grade.
56. When I was a kid, I used to pretend I was an Olympic Figure Skater.
57. Am I gay?
56. I am about 30 pounds overweight.
57. I am still not old enough to know better.
58. I think it should be illegal for white men over age 25 to wear their hats backward.
60. I went through a Scotch phase for a while, but mostly I drink Canadian whiskey.
61. My favorite domestic beer is Rolling Rock.
62. My earliest memory is of my father setting me on top of a snowbank while he shoveled the driveway.
63. I spent two Christmases alone, watching movies.
64. I don’t like to talk on the phone and I absolutely hate answering it.
65. My birthday is the same as Adolph Hitler’s.
66. Bad things happen on Hitler’s birthday – Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine…
67. Unless I am drunk, I can’t pee in a trough with other guys.
68. The greatest invention of the century is not GPS, is not the internet, is not the cell phone, it is the Apple iPod.
69. I learned how to sail by reading a book.
70. My favorite poem is Rudyard Kipling’s IF.
71. I’m still waiting for my 15 minutes of fame.
72. Andy Warhol was a dickhead.
73. I floss once a month.
74. I tell everyone I am 6′ 0“ when I am actually 5′ 11.5”. Is that so wrong?
75. Fall weather makes me feel euphoric.
76. I rarely wear cologne.
77. If I could create my own cologne, it would smell like mimeographed paper.
78. I would call it Myown Cologne.
79. I ate paste in elementary school. Lots of it.
80. My favorite quotation; “Some people have a way with words. Others no have way.” –Steve Martin.
81. I graduated from Fox Valley Lutheran High School in Appleton, Wisconsin.
82. I am generally quiet but very perceptive.
83. I am the only person in the U.S. who knows how to drive properly. It is an awesome responsibility but that’s the cross I bear.
84. The first concert I ever saw was Steppenwolf. Get your motor runnin’ they sucked.
85. I love cheese curds.
86. I suspect if it wasn’t for porn, there would be no internet.
87. I’m proud of my ability to dance like a white guy.
88. I have a lifetime subscription to Rolling Stone.
89. To counter A.D.D., I am extremely organized.
90. If forced into a disorganized situation, I will kill anyone within 10 yards of me.
91. I have never committed been convicted of a crime.
92. Although I am not a clean-freak, I am very neat. (It can be dusty, but it has to be in it’s place).
93. I am a chocoholic.
94. If you hand me a list of things to do, I will do them without fail or question.
95. I like my peanut butter extra crunchy.
96. If you ask me if it’s cold in here, I will ALWAYS say no.
97. I feel guilty for not being a better environmentalist.
98. I never experienced popularity as a child. In fact, kids used to chase me home from grade school. If they caught me they would beat me up. I never understood that. Thank God I was fast. In high school I developed a sense of humor which helped immensely.
99. I hate movies with happy endings. Not every plot complication should get resolved, the guy shouldn’t always get the girl, and in the end, someone should die. I can’t help it, I’m a realist.
100. As I write this I am the happiest I have ever been.

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