Mini Parking

Since I started driving a new car I’ve been very conscious of where I park. I am in that phase where you park ten miles away from everything to avoid door dings. Doesn’t it just torque your jaw when you’ve walked the whole ten miles back with those plastic grocery bags ripping through your knuckles only to find some moron has parked his piece of crap Chevy Cavalier right next to yours.

Anyway, I always get the same parking spot at work, even though they are not assigned spots. I get to work around 7:00am so I can pretty much pick and choose. It’s a short but wide space on the end of the row, pretty close to the rear entrance. I’ve parked there for years, even though my truck was a little long for it – my Mini Cooper fits perfect and I don’t have to worry about dings.

Well a funny thing happened about a month after I got the Mini. Some knuckle-dragging pin head started parking his piece of crap Grand Am popular model Pontiac in my spot! Okay, so I got this guy. I started getting here on time every day just to make sure I got my spot. That worked for about 4 days and he started beating me again. So I upped it to 6:45. That’s right! Ante up sucker, you’re playing with the big boys now!! Can you believe the SOB started getting here before me again?!! Now I’m getting here at 6:30 to stake my spot. Everybody knows it too because I’m screeching into the spot on two wheels now at about 65 mph!

I’ll go to 6:00am, and that’s it, after that I’ll just start taking a cab home and leaving my car in the space. This is serious chit.

By the way, I’m gettin’ a promotion and a raise for my “renewed work ethic”.

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