Rodeo

I went to my first rodeo this past weekend. Very interesting, to say the least. The people there were just as interesting as the action in the arena. Lots of people that I never would have pictured attending a rodeo. Actually, I probably fit that category myself with my double-knit T-shirt tucked into my khaki shorts with white Reeboks. I felt like the only one not holding a stetson or at least a plastic straw Dwight Yoakam hat during the national anthem. Continue reading “Rodeo”

Office Greetings

I work for a pretty big company; about 1200 people in the home office. Over the years, I’ve noticed some unique phenomenon which seem to occur in the office environment. One of them is the fact that I can go two, three, even four years without seeing someone from another area of the company and then suddenly, I am walking into them or passing them in the hall every other hour for the next several days. I’ll call it Co-Worker Borealis. It also coincides with another phenomenon, the Diminishing Office Greeting. You know, you pass someone in the hall and it’s “Good morning Phil!”, “Good morning Jef!” Then you pass again in an hour and it’s “Hey man.”, “Hey.” You pass again in 15 minutes, clearly in synchronous orbit, and you just nod at each other, then it regresses to that weird eyebrow thing and after that you each look away and even get irritated with each other. Seriously, if you want to piss someone off, don’t regress and keep doing the “Good morning Phil!” thing and I’ll bet you get punched out before lunch.

Say It Ain’t So Palm Pilot

Oh, what a dark day in my life. I accidently knocked a wooden plaque off the shelf and shattered the glass on my Palm Pilot. I am not exactly sure how to carry on with my life. Yes I can get it fixed, but it will take at least 2 weeks! How am I to live without my beloved palm pilot. It faithfully wakes me up in the morning, it handles my finances for me; my bank balance, my budget, my checkbook, it entertains me when I am bored, shows me pictures when I’m down, tells me who to call – when, why and at what number, reminds me of my appointments and shows me how to get to there. It tunes my guitar, tells me what chords to play and how to play them, knows when the Braves are playing and on what TV channel, it even changes the channel if I can’t find the remote. It keeps all my passwords, my pilot hours and even plans my flights for me. It’s my daily newspaper, my scratch pad, my library; it’s got two or three dozen books in there. It’s teaching me to speak spanish for crying out loud! TWO WEEKS??!!!

If you see me standing in the middle of the hall, staring blankly at the floor, not knowing where to go, or what to do or who you are or even who I am, forgive me; I have no PDA.

Cable

Oh wow, another afternoon wasted waiting on the cable guy. There’s a big surprise huh. We got a high def TV so we called the cable company and asked how we get HD channels. They said it would cost 5 bucks a month and we’d need a digital box. No problem, take an afternoon off from work, cable guy comes, installs new box, all is good. WRONG. We are only getting broadcast HD channels, none of the cable HD channels. Two or three more simple phone calls to Comcast to find out they need to come out and hook up the HD channels. Another afternoon off, waiting for cable guy. He walks in and tells us since we already have a digital box, there is nothing for him to do, cable HD channels just need to be switched on at the old home office. Wasted trip, wasted afternoon off. Call the old home office and they say, ‘Oh, ya want the cable HD channels, why didn’t you just say…’ So they push some buttons tell me to reboot the box and check it again after 6:00. No problem. WRONG; still no HD. Three or four more calls to Comcast over the next two days determines we need another service call. Another afternoon off from work. Cable gal comes over and says we are not getting the cable HD channels because we are not subscribed to them. I go semi-postal and tell her she’s not leaving until I see ESPN, in High Def, on my tv!

We now have broadcast AND cable HD channels and we only have to pay an extra 4270.00 a month. That’ll teach ’em to mess with ME.

Olympics

Wanna know why I could never be in the olympics? Could it be that I’m 46 years old you ask? No, not that. Could it be that a beer gut gets in the way of most Olympic events? No, not that. Could it be that a workout routine for me consists of dumping the leaves out of the hammock before climbing in? Easy there pal, these are rhetorical questions! No, the truth is, I could never wear this crap they make the winning athletes wear. Look at this. Continue reading “Olympics”

Aging

When I see old people, acting like old people, I think to myself ‘Man, I hope that doesn’t happen to me when I get to be that age’. Deep down I know it will but even deeper down I have this idea that I will be able to prepare for it ahead of time. This summer I decided to build a deck around one area of the pool. I estimated materials and cost and figured it would take a whole weekend. It ended up taking three weeks and two trips to the doctor for ailments I didn’t even think were related. I was truely at a loss, even frustrated, when I tried to explain what was taking so long to complete this damn deck.

Continue reading “Aging”

Wiring

Okay, I got the night off from the Flight School due to weather and I’m thinking great, now I have extra time; I can do a couple things from my weekend to-do list and still have time to watch some baseball. WRONG. Circuit breaker keeps poping so I have to troubleshoot a mass of wires and cords in the dark, in the attic. The previous owner was an absolute wiring genius. If you want to turn on the back yard flood lights, you simply drag a ladder into the basement, climb up and push out a ceiling tile, reach above the ceiling until you find a pull string which turns on a light bulb above the ceiling but also turns on the flood lights! I can’t believe no one else has thought of this. What I like to do is leave the ladder there until I’m done with the back yard flood lights. That way, I don’t have to bring it back in to turn them off. Pretty smart, huh.

Anyway, the “attic schematic” is very similar, so all I really had to do was reroute a few extension cords (you know, the ones they make especially for attics) and tape up some exposed wires and Viola! Back in bidness.