Baseball is Life

My day was pretty much normal. Went to Publix at lunch to pick up some personal stuff. Why the hell are razor blades so expensive? What exactly is it about these plastic encased shards of metal. Six bucks for a box of 8? It’s not like a jeweler has to set them. Oh, nevermind, I just realized, mine have that special lubricating bar on them. I forgot about that. That explains it. What is that, teflon? Have I mentioned that I invented teflon? Oh yeah. It’s in my bio somewhere.

Just one personal note for women today. If your husband/boyfriend/partner is watching the late innings of a tied ballgame and the bases are loaded with one out, and the pitcher he just traded for on his fantasy baseball team stands to get the win with a mere single, there is a strong possibility that your words may fall on deaf ears. I think you should know this ahead of time. It’s no reflection on you, we don’t think you’re unimportant, we don’t love you any less and we’re not trying to be disrespectful. It’s just the way God made us. It’s like trying to get the attention of your dog when your child is walking through the house with a sandwich. It just can’t happen.